Pegging jokes

Added: Alexzandria Engelbrecht - Date: 09.08.2021 00:56 - Views: 11751 - Clicks: 3169

Friend to boyfriend: you guys don't know what I do to his butt Me: is it a pegging Ritual? Boyfriend: to the pegging gods. I said, if you drive you are a driver, if you hop then you are a hopper, so if you cook you are a cooker.

A pirate and a sailor were exchanging stories. It was time for the prom at Klondike High School and Tim's friends were desperately trying to convince him to go. He considered it, but was very self-conscious of the fact that he had had an accident as a young child that caused him to lose his eye, and the best his family could afford was to buy him a wooden eye.

After several days of goading, Tim finally decides to go. Sally was in a similar situation. Her friends desperately wanted her to go prom with them, but she was recently in a car accident and lost her right leg. She had pegging jokes prosthetic, but it was very uncomfortable, so she had a hard time walking. Reluctantly, she agreed to go. It was the night of the prom and both Tim and Sally were getting all gussied up with their friends.

Pegging jokes

They both make it to the prom, but when they arrive, they are both too nervous to dance. Tim's friends notice Sally sitting on the wall and say to him, "Look over there!

Pegging jokes

There's a cute girl who's all alone and needs a partner to dance with. Why don't you go over there and ask her to dance? As he approaches her, he getes nervous, and awkwardly stands in front of her pegging jokes a few seconds before saying, "Wuh While there, he is wanting to find a lady to dance with.

He sees a lonely lady across the bar with a peg leg, and decides to talk to her. A pirate walks into bar and sits down. The bartender notices that he has a peg leg, a hook for a hand, and a patch over one eye. The pirate orders a beer, and while he's pouring it the bartender asks "So what's the story with the leg?

I swum ashore and were fitted fer a peg leg that very night. I swum ashore and were fitted fer a hook that very night. I was 16 and at a rowing regatta I was competing in. Anyways I was running late for my race and my crew were yelling at me so I started running. The shortest way was through the spectator area on a big downhill towards the water so at full pace I went that way. About halfway the top of my barefoot trips on the rusted top of one of these steel pegs and I fall face first and tumble through the dirt with my foot and ankle split open. People run from all directions, medical staff etc someone holds a towel over my head for shade and I see my dad.

He's looking down at me but it's hard to see through the dirt in my eyes and people around. There was a man, who in high-school, had a wooden eye. He was quite self conscious about it, so when it came time for the school dance, he didn't have the nerve to ask a girl to dance. He would go up to a girl and she would turn pegging jokes instantly.

Pegging jokes

He was very discouraged, until he saw across the room a girl, alone with a peg leg. He thought "perfect! When he asked her to dance, she looked up grinning and said "Would i? Would I?! It was a little weird at first, but once she got used to the strap-on, it was everything I ever pegged it pegging jokes be. Got into an accident and lost his eye. The doc got him a wooden eye to fill the hole. Before the accident he was quite the ladies man, dancing with all the young ladies at the barn dances. But afterwards he never went out, just stayed at home. He knew no woman would ever want him.

Finally all his buddies came by and grabbed him and took him to a barn dance. He was just looking at all the pretty young ladies, afraid to ask any to dance. But as he looked at her, he saw that she had a peg-leg. And so the string decides that he shall stop at his favorite Pub and treat himself to a pint before going home to the wife. But after a decent walk he arrives at the pub to find a new on the door that re " No Strings Allowed".

The string becomes infuriated. After having been a loyal patron for 10 years he decides this injustice is not to be tolerated and comes up with a plan. He takes a moment and steps into the back alley way to pegging jokes discreet.

While he is there he ties himself into a knot and frays the top. Content with his disguise he marches back around to the front, enters the bar and has a seat when requests a pint of beer. The bartender being a little suspicious looks at him a little uneasily but just can't seem to peg what the problem is.

He serves him the beer regardless while keeping a close eye on the suspicious character. A little while later the string decides that the week at work has been so long that he is deserving of two pints pegging jokes beer before going home to retire for the weekend. It is just at that point when the bartender is serving him his second pint that he pauses and looks at the string and says "Hold on one minute! Aren't you a string? A few days ago I set the tent up outside to clean it out.

Yesterday my son's friend noticed I had missed a tent peg and let me know. I looked at him and said, "I guess that was a big missed stake. My son was playing his upright bass and there was a rattle coming from it. I suggested he tighten up the peg on the bottom, which fixed the rattle. He told me they should get rid of those pins, because a kid gets stabbed five or six times a year. An Official is inspecting a lunatic asylum to find one inmate to be released for the Pegging jokes anniversary, after several hours of visiting the numerous wards he enters one where he finds a man sitting on his bed carving a wooden block.

He approaches the man and asks him what he was carving, the man on the bed replies that he carves wooden clothes pegs, and that each day he makes around 5. Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic.

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Pegging jokes

Please click the report button in that new tab, and once it is removed from there, it will also be removed from this website. A pirate walks in a bar with a peg leg, a hook for a hand and an eyepatch. I once saw a cloud of mist form before my eyes, then take the form of a giant tent peg A priest, a bishop, and a rabbit walk into a bar.

I was engaged to a girl once with a wooden leg. My friend has peg on his short sleeve shirt for balancing small white balls on when he wants to whack them with a club Every time I pegging jokes out my laundry, the song "Nine to Five" starts playing Guess that's what I get for using Dolly pegs. My son and I were hooking pegs onto a clothes line. I went to the camping supply store and was going to buy a tent but the pegging jokes were on the top shelf I packed my tent but there was a mistake. TIL that sea-faring pirates were quite progressive in their labor practices, reserving a portion of their loot into an early sort of worker's comp, paying for peg-legs and hooks.

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants, a peg leg and a parrot on his shoulder. It wasn't working out, so I broke it off. Sorry Peg. Would I? Had a race to see who could hang out our towels on the washing line quickest. I dated a one legged girl who worked at a brewery. What did the pirate say when he turned 80? A man with a wooden eye is sitting at a bar. Would I?? Peg leg! What medical condition were pirates prone to? My Dad got me when I was pegging jokes, bleeding in a field and in agony. He asks "bloody hell mate, what happened? In agony I manage a "I kicked a tent peg".

He knelt down beside me, looked me in the eye and said "how far did it go? What is a pirates least favourite workout? After years of begging, my wife and I tried anal for the first time! A string is walking home one Friday evening after a long week at work. What do you call it when a pirate can't sit still? Edit: how do you not know him? I said they should just stop that. The resulting look confirmed it I'm a dad.

Pegging jokes

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Ever heard of pegging? Apparently it’s the latest move that’ll boost your sex life